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The breakup quiz that reads you back

Most breakup quizzes tell you what you already know and sell you a course. This one asks what's true — when you last reached out, what's still within reach, what hour it gets loud — and hands you back the pattern in your own answers. Two minutes. No account. Nothing is sent anywhere until you choose to.

What the read is

It's not a personality test and it's not a compatibility score. It's a short set of questions about the mechanics of your breakup: who ended it, how long it's been, how many times you've tried no contact before, which doors are still open, and when the urge to reach out hits hardest. From those answers it does three things:

• Counts your day. Day one is the day after the last contact, and the count keeps itself current whenever you open your link.
• Names the pattern. One of seven — below — chosen from what you said, not from a horoscope.
• Points at the next hard part. Your own record if you have one, your loud hour if you named one, and an honest "we can't tell yet" if you didn't.

The seven patterns

Every read lands in one of these. Each has its own page, if you already recognise yourself:

What you get, and what you don't

You get the read on screen immediately, and a permanent link to it. If you tick the box, you get the same read by email, plus a preview of a day-by-day plan built from the same answers. You don't get told your ex is coming back, a number of days after which you'll be fine, or a diagnosis. Anyone who offers those from a questionnaire is guessing.

Before you start

Answer for today, not for your best day. If you texted them last night, say so — the read is only useful if the day count is honest, and a slip is data, not a verdict. If you're mid-urge right now, should I text my ex? is the two-minute version of this two-minute read.

Questions people ask

How long does the breakup quiz take?

About two minutes. It's around twenty short questions, most of them a single tap, and you can skip anything that doesn't apply — a skipped answer becomes an honest gap in the read, never a guess.

Do I need an account or the app?

No. The read runs on the web, with no sign-up. Your answers are stored under a random id so your result link keeps working; nothing is emailed unless you tick the box and confirm it.

Is this a test of whether my ex will come back?

No, and it won't pretend to be. The read is about you: your day count, your pattern, and your next hard part. Nothing in it predicts what another person will do.

What are the seven patterns?

The First Week, The Reset Loop, The Open Door, The 11pm Loop, The Highlight Reel, The Verdict and The Long Quiet. Each is read from specific answers — how many attempts you've made, how many ways to see them are still open, when it gets loud — and each has its own page on this site.